Freaks, Irregulars, Defects, Oddities

An ill-minted coin, a monocle
     Chained to a tuxedo,
The moon croons to strip-clubs,
     And late-night burrito

Shops, lovers on pedicab tours
     Of the harbour. Placido
Domingo on the stereo with merlot
     And fettuccine alfredo.

A night for werewolves, hairy
     Men sporting speedos
And high heels on the club stroll,
     “The Streets of Laredo”

On ukulele and pennywhistle
     Down at the lido
Where a shot-wrecked Aeneas
     Meets his new Dido.

Virgil, installed in a corner stal
     Puts pen to graffito:
“Tally-ho! Damn the torpedoes!
     Bandita hearts Bandito!”1

Oh, tragic pyred Queen of Tyre,
     It’s Fido not Dido
That translates as faithful,2
     The “Fido”-fido credo

On love Dante witnesses mid-canto
     When Aeneas snubs Dido 
In the second circle where she’s been unjustly gaoled
     For her raging—3

Now Freaks, Irregulars, Defects, Oddities,
     People of the low, low albedo,
Let this be your motto:
     “Love” the word not the weirdo. 

___________________

1 Virgil’s friend Dante’s best Fido
     Was “A Lady Loves Me” author Calvacanti, Guido.
2 “Testicle,” to the Roman tongue, sounded out “orchido.”
     3 Spanish Guy Fawkes goes by Fawkes, Guido.