Easily the coolest literary prize up for grabs in Canada, the ReLit Ring −with its four independently-spinning dials that are each punched with every letter of the alphabet, so that words can be spelled—sounds like something straight out of a Dan Brown novel and looks like a dream come true for a Tolkien superfan. All at once, a masonic ring for authors of a mystical order and a secret decoder ala A Christmas Story, the ReLit Ring is that awesome and soon to become the country's most sought-after award.
Off the top you've got four-letters to work with horizontally. Your inner-child takes over and wants to write (yes it counts as writing) 'LOVE', or 'COOL', like some kind of gumball machine prize . But no, you're a wordsmith by trade, heck you nail those four-letter slots in Boggle and your book just won an award here, so you start to move outside the box. 'POET' spin spin spin 'LOTR' spin 'LOSR', spin 'HOSR' spin spin 'HOPE'.
You begin to host parties where people can spell their own words on it and you circulate yourself around the party like a game of telephone. Eventually you start a blog for ReLit ringbearers (you've started to call yourself this now). Everyday you post spinning coordinates for poems you've cleverly hidden within the ring. You announce your new book of poetry called "4 Ring Circus"—a collection of four letter poems.
When the book fails and all your credibility is gone, you put an ad up on Craigslist and start selling advertising space on the ring. If a business has four letters, or a girlfriend's name has four letters, you'd wear it around for them: $5/day or $20/wk. When nobody answers the ad, you get moody and write 'FUCK' and "SHIT" and all the other good ones. Eventually, the ring sits on top of your dresser: 'DONE'.
While this is all clearly hypothetical, no ring of such immense power has ever been wielded responsibly. Congratulations to Gillian Jerome for being the first recipient and you can be sure that the next time I see Gillian at a Geist workshop, I am going to be curious to see what's on that ring.