From The Little Grey Flannel Book, compiled and annotated by Oline Luinenberg and Stephen Osborne (Arsenal Pulp Press).
ON ANGST, GREY FLANNEL STYLE
A man’s home is his hassle.
—Paul D. Arnold
ON BEHAVING LIKE A MAN
I’m goin’ to stand up for America until somebody shoots me.
ON SEPARATING THE SOMETHING FROM THE SOMETHING OR OTHERS
The difference between men and boys is the price of their toys.
SOMEWHERE BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE
Men are always ready to respect anything that bores them.
THE CONNUBIAL CONTRADICTION ILLUMINATED
Marriage makes you legally half a person, and what man wants to live with half a person?
ON THE OLD BINARY EXCLUSION PRINCIPLE
I go for two kinds of men. The kind with muscles and the kind without.
EARLY VENTURE INTO GAMING THEORY
Man is a gaming animal, he must always be trying to get the better of something or other.
—Charles Lamb (1785-1828)
STILL HOLDING 150 YEARS LATER
It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody.
—Richard Nixon, 1968
YEAH, BUT HE’S PROBABLY DRUNK
Any man who hates small dogs and children can’t be all bad.
ON TRAINING BOYS FOR LIFE
Except for war, there is nothing in the American life, nothing, which trains a boy better for life than football.
SECOND THOUGHTS ON THE SPORTING LIFE
Is it normal to wake up in the morning in a sweat because you can’t wait to beat another human’s guts out?
—Joe Kapp, former quarterback
ON WHAT ISN'T EASY FOR MERE MAN
Well, it’s hard for a mere man to believe that woman doesn’t have equal rights.
SURE, ERROL, BUT THEN WHO DOESN'T?
I love a man who can best me.
ON SECOND THOUGHT, THOUGH
There is no glory in outstripping donkeys.
—Martial, AD 70
DOES HE SAY "AW SHUCKS" ALL THE TIME?
People are tired of getting screwed by everything and everybody, and in my pictures, I like to play this character who’s not quite all there, who steps down from his truck and scrapes the manure off his boots and who’s always fighting for his dignity. He’s anti-establishment, he’s funny and he’s somebody to cheer for—a hero.
ON THE INEFFABLE BONDS OF PATERNITY
My father was frightened of his father, I was frightened of my father, and I am damned well going to see to it that my children are frightened of me.
—King George V