Second prize winner of the 2018 Geist Work Shanty Writing Contest
(Sung to the tune of “The Pirate Shanty”)
Verse 1
Behold, this band of CPAs, avast your screams
We’re hiding out in plain sight on the finance team
Analyzing P&Ls and balance sheets
Debits, credits, T-accounts, they’re a bosun’s treats
Chorus
A cheque run for the vendors, a cheque run for the subs
A cheque run for the picaroons with mileage claims
I do not fear the bank rec, I do not fear the VAT
But fiscal year-end threatens to expose our number games
Verse 2
Each day I try to educate these young green MBAs
Who don’t know their multipliers from their billing rates
They don’t see we need cash flow to pay their salary
And I catch them sending invoices without the GST!
Verse 3
The auditors are coming and will open up our books
They’ll question our provisions, give expenses second looks
So, batten down the revenues, we’ll try another tack
’Cause if they find those stashed doubloons we all will get the sack
Chorus
Verse 4
A wise old pirate I admired, he once said to me
“We’re bean counters! We sail upon the Accountant’s Sea
I know this month’s unreconciled but come and follow me.”
He showed me how to plug that gap with one journal entry
Chorus
Verse 5
Now we sail into the sunset of another fiscal year
Our coffers full of loot, and our bellies full of beer
Best not to get too squiffy, lest we become the prey
Of that scurvy pack of bilge rats called the Sea… Arrrgh… Eh!