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Photo by Kathy VitoThese limericks were written at The Great Canadian Limerick Caper at Word on the Street, 2008. Participants used place names from Geist Maps of Canada for inspiration. The event was hosted by Ross Merriam, the publisher of Narwhal Magazine and a friend of Geist.
Shopping in Kits
Well, I thought I’d go shopping in Kits For some comfy wintery mitts I looked far and wide Around from side to side But I found only Lulu chicks
—Robin Ryan
A Kerrisdale Party
At a party I had to attend “To Kerrisdale I’ve moved,” said my friend. I asked her why, (and) she said with a sigh, “No hipsters with which to contend.”
—Mary Leighton
A Boy From Vancouver
There once was a boy from Vancouver He thought himself quite the schmoozer With hair slicked with oil He’d visit the Royal Where all he would do is hunt cougars
—Matthew Gruman
A Swell Garden on Mayne
There was a swell garden on Mayne That was matured in sunshine and rain But some deer on the roam Jumped the fence round my home Hard to garden and still remain sane
—Libbie
A Boy Named Noam
There once was a boy named Noam Who went to jail for a poem He loved it so true Stuck to him like glue And instead it really hut no one.
—Noam (4 years old)
A Young Woman From Bowen
There was a young woman from Bowen Who decided to write a Zen Koan She tried and she tried Till she damn nearly died And ended up writing a poem
—Kami Kane Tsuka
A Boat Held Fast in Garnish
His boat was held fast in Garnish He turned and it sunk with a flourish No one saw it sink But he downed his drink Because it wasn’t his to begin with
—Travis Dudfield
A Desperate Nun From Plum Coulee
A desperate nun from Plum Coulee Was sure that her habit was “drooly” When asked where she ate, She replied “It was late, And the waiter—well, he was ghouly!”
—D. Burger
A Man From Vancouver
There was a man from Vancouver, . . . was trying to turn a new leaf over. He tripped and he fell thought he’d gone straight to hell “Oh damn, this life’s like a hoover.”
—Siobhán Humston
A Dog Chased a Cat
A dog chased a cat a lot, Until the day that he was caught, He was collared, And he hollered, But the cat wished he was shot!
—Corey
A Girl From Calgary
There once was a girl from Calgary Whose armpits were very hairy It made men afraid The hair she did braid And got married in Glengarry —Cathy Clarke
