You’re driving into a city you’ve never been to with the radio on listening to a traffic report about roads and places you’ve never seen. Got the radio on Everything is exotic, mysterious, potential— bigger sales, better service. It’s all better, sleeker, more exciting, more modern than that provincial dump of a town where you live. Radio on — …because it’s another beautiful morning here in the foothills! That makes fourteen in a row! But who’s counting? And now, here’s traffic with Jen Lunaria. How’re things on the road this morning, Jen? Thanks, Andy. Things on the road? Well, they are not looking good, my friend. Not looking good. Be warned, commuters! Heavy, heavy volumes. Everything moving very slowly, from the Benchmark all across to the Navigants. And maybe you’d want to avoid the Bypass Memorial Bypass Bypass today after that big oyster meat spill. At least keep your eyes peeled for the seagulls. And the cars keep coming. Got the radio on Traffic’s seriously backed up from the Celebrant’s Mall past the Brief Sojourn Funeral Home, beyond the Young Paupers Cemetery, past the gates of the Old Fever Hospital. Radio on Detours in place around the New Dawn Research Lab even though most of the Modified Animals that broke out are already back in their restraints. Crews are sifting through the rubble for clues though we still don’t know how the animals got aholda the guns, the ammunition, or the drugs. And the cars just keep coming. Got the AM Radio on I guess everybody’s heading down to the Marmite Centre for the big game, Jen. Go Roadrunners! Yeah, thanks, Andy. That’s really not it. I dunno, man, the cars keep coming and coming, and nobody knows where they’re coming from. OK, seriously, you should be thinking ahead to this evening, people. There’s no way you’re making it home with this volume of traffic. I dunno. I really don’t. I guess you better you better please, please just leave work right away, now; remember the curfew’s still in effect, and the Army have orders to shoot on sight.
This appeared in Geist 116 as part of a suite titled All the Broken Things, along with One Day and Traffic Reports in Strange Cities.
