Three small guys, in their sixties, sitting at the bar of a saloon on Main Street this afternoon:

Guy with mustache: "It’s hard to get a haircut on Monday."

Guy in ballcap: "Yup."

Guy in varsity jacket: "Cause you need two days off, right? That’s gonna be your Sunday and your Monday. You don’t want to close shop on a Saturday. You know, if you close shop on a Saturday. . ."

Guy with mustache: "So if you’re working Saturdays, you pretty well have to take time off work to get a haircut."

Guy in varsity jacket: "You’re right, you do."

Two girls, maybe twelve years old, walking down Main Street yesterday:

Girl #1: ". . . all for me."

Girl #2: "That’s awesome Shelly. That’s ooglie dooglie awesome."