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3 Valley Gap Honeymoon Suite “Cave”

ROSEANNE HARVEY

Runner-up in the 1st Annual Geist Literal Literary Postcard Story Contest.

This is where I lost my virginity. Last night, the first night of my married life. I waited twenty-seven years for last night. I woke up this morning and looked at my new husband and noticed that he looks kind of like a caveman. His head has a bit of slope and his brows are a thick ridge above his eyes.

I wasn’t expecting the honeymoon suite to actually look like a cave. I don’t know what I expected. A honey moon, clear and golden and dripping. What kind of word is honeymoon anyways? Makes me think of honey, sweet, sticky and illuminated. Is this what marriage will be like? Will it be so delicious I’ll want to lick it off my fingers?

woke up craving meat. I’m a vegetarian, but I woke up with a hankering for burned, crispy black meat, a bone to gnaw on. I want to put meat on a stick and roast it in the fireplace.

Where did these rocks come from? Somebody found these rocks somewhere, brought them back here, and made this room. In front of 3 Valley Gap are giant boulders that tumbled down the mountain years ago, blocking the Trans-Canada Highway and miraculously stopping two metres from the glass windows of the cafeteria and gift shop. Yesterday I climbed up on one of the rocks in my wedding gown and my husband took pictures of me.

He still looks like a caveman to me. Even this morning, while we ate breakfast and drank mimosas in bed. Even now, as I sit in front of the fireplace writing to you and watching him take an afternoon nap. He looks like a caveman. How did I never notice before?

You’re probably wondering how it is, how it feels to be married, to be no longer single and a virgin. I don’t know how to describe it. I feel full and nourished, but at the same time I feel like a flower whose nectar has been sucked out. Will this feeling go away?

On the postcard, the rug in front of the fireplace is a normal rug, but in real life it’s a bearskin. You’d think a bear would feel greasy, but this one is soft. I don’t know how to describe it, this being married, having sex. Sweet like moon honey, sweet honey moon, moon honey sweet.

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ROSEANNE HARVEY

Roseanne Harvey lives in a spiritual community in southeastern B.C. Her fiction and creative non-fiction have been published in Geist, SubTerrain, ascent and good girl. “3 Valley Gap Honeymoon Suite ‘Cave’” was a runner-up in the 1st Annual Geist Literal Literary Postcard Story Contest.


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