Dear Sasquatch

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Previously published in Poetry Is Dead, Issue #1

Dear Sasquatch

Stop avoiding me

I know
 you know
 I know


 you’re out there

You know
 I know
 you know that

Sasquatch

Since you’ve been gone
 My houseplants have been giving me the silent treatment
 & my heartstrings all have fallen out of tune

Since you’ve been gone
 The posture of my penis is just one more economic indicator
 with which to measure the health of the nation

Shit! since you’ve been gone
 White people are getting whiter
 My balls are getting bluer
 & the 2010 Olympics are murdering your good name

They’ve cutified you
 into Quatchi
 Teletubby of the British Columbian forest
 who wears ear muffs
 falls over easily
 & squeaks “Shop with Quatchi”

But contempt is too easy

I know
 you know
 I’ve sensed you
 out there
 Standing in line at London Drugs
 trying to buy a crimper and some scrunchies
 while everyone looks the other way
 except for the cashier
 who looks straight through you

Sweet, noble Sasquatch
 Contempt is too easy
 Come back to me!
 I won’t apologize for the time I called your sister abominable

But each night
 I will phone Grouse mountain
 asking them to blink out a morse code I Miss You
 with their ski hill flood lights
 Start a forest fire near Whistler if you feel the same

I have biked down countless alleyways
 trying to read the calligraphy in the concrete
 for directions to your church of the invisible

Bring me your shabby bible
 with its tissue-thin pages
 I will build us a home

I worry though
 I worry that you’re right here
 & I’m just not looking
 quietly enough to see you

I’m like the backseat brat on a cross-country drive
 constantly asking
 “Are we there Yeti? Are we there Yeti?”
 without ever looking out the window

Dear Sasquatch

I have no address for you
 So I’m reading this open letter at open mics
 I know it will reach you
 eventually

You’re the kind of creature
 who comes to events
 like these
 & sits in the corner writing confessional poetry

Sasquatch

If you’re here
 Please
 stand up

& tell us
 your story

Chris Gilpin Performs Dear Sasquatch Live:

Chris Gilpin has been a two-time mem­ber of the Vancouver Poetry Slam Team (2008 & 2009), the runner-up in the 2008 Vancouver Individual Poetry Slam com­pe­ti­tion, the cham­pion of Vancouver’s 2008 Haiku Death Match, and win­ner of the Vancouver’s 2009 CBC Poetry Face-off.