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From A Mysterious Humming Noise. Published by Anvil Press in 2019. Howard White’s father, Frank White, was a truck driver, logger, gas station operator, excavationist, waterworks technician and author of Milk Spills and One-Log Loads: Memories of a Pioneer Truck Driver and That Went By Fast: My First Hundred Years. He died in 2015 at the age of 101.

Looking after my old man during his decline
Through his nineties and finally past 100
I expected to be an unpleasant duty
And it definitely had its messy parts
But overall it was very enjoyable,
Definitely brought us closer than ever
Even though he was a shadow of the man he’d been.
It was very educational, not just
In instructing me in the care industry
Trouble getting up? Buy a lift chair.
Legs get tired standing at the stove?
There’s a thing like a walking-stick seat
You can move around the kitchen.
Afraid of falling in the tub?
There’s a $1000 gizmo to ease you up and down.
Can’t stand at all any more?
Time to move to a power wheelchair.
Trouble loading peas onto the fork now?
They have a big spork that comes with
A special plate with a fence around it.
But really it’s better to put everything in wraps or rolls.
Can’t even manage that anymore?
Purée everything for easy spoon-feeding.
Like the man said it’s a long way down.
But clever technology is waiting at every step
And it’s all half price or less on Craigslist.
The thing I really learned, though,
Was how the final stages of life’s ending
Form an exact parallel with its beginning:
After nine decades of slow change
Things start moving quickly again.
Every week a changed ability of the body or mind
Creates a whole new situation
Needing altered gear and care strategies.
And the fact your care-receiver
Is changing every day for the worse
Is not as depressing as you might think.
There is something satisfying
About all these long-lost chickens
Coming home to roost.

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Strangers to Bats to Lovers

A selection of fanfiction tags from Archive of Our Own.


Boiled with Darkness

The Google Translate app is unexpectedly poetic.



From, a Quebecois swear generator, which can produce increasingly lengthy chains of French-Canadian curses on demand, in the style of the lorem ipsumnonsense placeholder text.