From a 7" single by the band Strength of Materials on the Kingfisher Bluez label. Ford Pier is a musician who has played on his own and with his bands, the Vengeance Trio and Strength of Materials, as well as with Veda Hille, the Rheostatics, DOA, Neko Case and many others. He lives in Vancouver.

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Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?

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I do.

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Things aren’t better than the things that they replace just because they’re new

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Our standards are our standards because they’re deeply felt

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     and we owe it to our standards that they should be upheld

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Or what’s the point in having standards for?

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These fellas went to work on me

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     on changes they would like to see but I remained unmoved

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Things aren’t an improvement just because they’ve been improved

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Dude said, “Check it out, this shit’ll get you loaded

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     faster than the fastball of Ryan exploded!”

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But I don’t get that wasted anymore

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It doesn’t hold the appeal that it did before

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Oblivion taught me everything it can

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Well, anyway, it tried

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     but I was usually too preoccupied

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Making a friend or formulating a plan

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     and some of them were good, and some of them were fun

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Every day I come up with at least one great idea,

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     though telling you so wasn’t necessarily one

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So now I’ve got a Facebook page

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Like every other twat my age

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And I’m complicit in what I once despised

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And by that, I feel victimized

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And I hear the Smashing Pumpkins might

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     bury the hatchet, reunite

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Is that why our grandfathers went to war?

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Who gives a fuck about a split infinitive?

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I most certainly do.

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