Poetry

Voyage to the Bottom of the Out

JILL MANDRAKE

My name is Bar, like the stool

          I like to wear comfy underwear with holes

                   My assets:  I have a distinctive voice,

                   I memorized the periodic table

                   except when I forget parts of it

                           I like when people sit around

                           and say the worst thing they ever did

I was named after

Doris Day, and I am sure

no one gives a hoot

           I like to make jokes out of things

                 This pub opened up just a few years back:

                 You’d think it wouldn’t have had enough time

                 to become properly haunted

                      Never eat in an establishment

                      where the kitchen smells like sidewalk sauce

My name’s Judy, and someone said,

“Judy’s a beauty,” cause it kinda rhymes

but I’m not falling for it

          My finger:  Put some peanut butter on it

                 I like songs where the singer goes totally nuts at the end

                      I like the way she says, “I’ve been waiting”

I’d like to cross my

fingers for you but I have

arthritis, both hands

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JILL MANDRAKE

Jill Mandrake writes strange but true stories and leads Sister DJ’s Radio Band, featuring rhythm and blues covers, post-vaudeville original tunes and occasional comedy bits. https://hido.bandcamp.com/album/the-neti-pot

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