My name is Bar, like the stool

          I like to wear comfy underwear with holes

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                   My assets:  I have a distinctive voice,

                   I memorized the periodic table

                   except when I forget parts of it

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                           I like when people sit around

                           and say the worst thing they ever did

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I was named after

Doris Day, and I am sure

no one gives a hoot

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           I like to make jokes out of things

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                 This pub opened up just a few years back:

                 You’d think it wouldn’t have had enough time

                 to become properly haunted

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                      Never eat in an establishment

                      where the kitchen smells like sidewalk sauce

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My name’s Judy, and someone said,

“Judy’s a beauty,” cause it kinda rhymes

but I’m not falling for it

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          My finger:  Put some peanut butter on it

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                 I like songs where the singer goes totally nuts at the end

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                      I like the way she says, “I’ve been waiting”

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I’d like to cross my

fingers for you but I have

arthritis, both hands